Well I'm off to OK city after a long while of not posting anything. I may not have internet where I'm headed to, so postings may be minimal for a while. I had one follower wanting me to post something on here. To be honest I haven't had much going on, but here's a thought that has been brewing about recognizing our bodies.
There is so much thought out there on recognizing what is wrong with our bodies and/or what is making us sick (in general). We can relate the things we consume, our daily activities, or other factors and figure out why we feel sick or why we are not doing as well as we thought we were. If we do good things we feel good. If we do bad things we feel bad. When it comes to health it generally goes that way. But sometimes we do things that, by most individuals, are categorized as bad things to do to your body. Scientific results have shown that to the average individual, doing such things are indeed bad and will make you feel bad. But you do those things and you realize you feel so much better than you started off at. You feel like this is what your body was missing to feel better. You stop and you feel bad, not worse than when you started off, but just bad enough to realize you could be so much better.
Let us get more specific to what I'm referring to for about the past 3-4 months I have been taking DHEA. DHEA is commonly taken by many trans/queer men to raise testosterone levels. As I said previously results from many scientific papers I've read show that taking DHEA will pretty much (in lamest terms) fuck you up. But after taking it for those 3-4 months the only thing I've noticed is that I feel a lot better. I have so much more energy and i have a lot less pain (i'm disabled by pain, so that was a big deal for me). Not only the physical aspects tho, but the mental and emotional aspects are also better. I'm able to think more thoroughly and accurately. My thought processes are now allowing me to articulate things a lot better. Emotionally I feel much more stable. My anger issues have gone down and I feel like I can channel my emotions better. But I don't understand. Everything that i've read and everything that I know tells me that all of those things should be opposite. Heightened testosterone should cause anger issues, scattered thoughts, weird emotions. I feel like by doing this I have begun to balance myself.
I stopped taking DHEA last month. Not for any reason, it just happened. I will definatly start taking it again for the reason that i'm starting to feel my anger come back and i'm starting to feel...well terrible... just like how I did before the DHEA. It's funny. I thought I was just fucked up having those things wrong with me...but now, being balanced. I don't I feel like this is how my body was supposed to be to begin with. The DHEA isn't breaking me, its fixing something that was broken.
Well that is the brewing thought of the week. I'll see if I can post a little something else this week :)
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