(The other post) Desperation

So i've had so much on my mind lately as any (if any) followers have noticed ((yes I am fully aware I have noone signed up as a follower on my page)). I'm thinking of seeing a gender therapist :/ I know if you look back you can clearly see I said this 10 months ago. I am just so scared...I feel like I will get dismissed by therapists since I am both and neither male nor female... but at the same time i hope they can help me figure out stuff and things ((yes that is as descriptive as this is getting after my long day today)) I need support. Being so far away from Reno, I have lost my circle of support. They are just so far away. I miss the people I could say all of this to and they understood or tried to understand. I miss the people who would not judge me but be my shoulder to cry on as I tried to figure this out because they knew that admitting to so much of this was really hard... I miss the people who I could joke around about this when it got too serious to talk about and it was all ok. I miss the people who didn't look at me as "any less of a man" when I cried because they knew how hard so much of this is. I miss the people who never left my side even though I know they never did understand it.

I need someone to talk to. Even if it is a complete stranger I am paying so they will listen. I just need someone to respond to give me feedback and to help me out, because honestly, I have sucked all the information I can from my resources at hand. I have read every book. I have seen every article and read every forum. I don't know which road to head but this. I'm getting desperate and this is a big point of desperation in my life...to go to a therapist? something i am fully against? I must be desperate