Rant to self

What is the point where I give up compared to the point where I strive my hardest to move beyond it or forward within it... How do I decide? or is it even a decision that is mine to make. I have all this and so much more to say and I just don't know how to say it... what are we deciding to with our lives if it not to live it successfully, If it not to live it in a direction that will lead us to accomplish so much.

*sigh* **Taps pencil on notebook**

It's all lies. It all feels like lies. I like my androgyny. I miss it tho. I feel like now i'm one or the other. What happened to my inbetween? that was my comfort. My dysphoric mind returns to me, and it is now..that I realize it wasn't there in the past.

Alone. I'm alone. Why couldn't this happen when I was among friends? Now i'm among strangers

This is more of a rant to self than anything other....