Ok that last post about me posting on here more often might have been a lie...Life has been overwhelming...blah blah blah...not really getting into that...anyways...onward to the post...
Over the past few months, people have been questioning my sexuality. If not questioning, then assuming. My entire life I have identified as liking girls. Although I was never fond of the term "lesbian". It is one that I eventually was coerced to use as a self identifying term. I prefer the word queer in general, and I prefer the word gay when referring to myself as a female person. For a brief moment i too questioned my sexuality. And then I didn't. That was that. I identified now as I identified then, so let me explain my situation (just because I haven't had the chance to explain it)
I have a male (both bodied and identified) friend. Over these past few months we have built a sexual and intimate relationship. Nothing more. Nothing less. What I mean by this is difficult to explain. (and thus will not) I will however outline that we are a lot more than friends with benefits and a tad less than in a committed relationship. He has always been an important aspect of my life. He has helped me emotionally, spiritually and mentally. It is beyond a doubt that he is a single most important individual in my life. That part has always been true and that part will never change
Sex. Ok the thing about sex is that different individuals have different reasons to share in the act. I'm not judging. I'm not saying your reasons are any less valid than mine, but let me explain a bit of my reasons with him. In my eyes, it is a physical representation of outstanding friendship, love (in any degree or form), and gratitude. Why do I even bother to mention this? Because in my eyes sexual preference or orientation is defined as preferring to have sex with one gender or the other. I prefer to have sex with women. That is that. If this one person in my life happens to be male, that doesn't change my preference or my orientation. It simply makes him that exception. Is that too hard to believe? That sexuality has exceptions? A very wise person told me once that "sexuality is fluid". Honestly, until this situation occurred I had NO idea what that statement even meant. But its true. Sexuality is as fluid as the sea... it isn't all black and white... I do not identify as bisexual or bicurious because of this one person. I identify as I have always identified, except now I understand that an exception is possible. I hope to open someones eyes to the fluidity of sexuality orientation ( no I do not identify as sexually fluid either :P)
judge me all you want.. .but i'm beyond caring what you think. I wanted to write more but am tired so the end
-Ly
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