Reflections

I wrote a post that I never actually posted last week. It was a short post about how I no longer see my reflection in the mirror and how I am not what I see anymore. This is what it read:

“I caught a glimpse of my reflection tonight. I never noticed how much I don’t look at my reflection. I don’t do it intentionally. It just happens. I brush my teeth and do my hair in the mornings without seeing myself… even though I’m looking directly at my image. It’s weird. I don’t see the same person I used to see anymore. I don’t understand. I don’t understand what has changed so dramatically…”

Last night I caught another glimpse of my reflection and this time I looked. I stared and I contemplated at what it was I was looking at in the mirror. I had my hair gelled back and I was wearing a collared polo. Bound and all, I looked at my face and I looked at my presence. Looked deeper than just what was staring me back from the mirror but looked through that to see the existence before it. I don’t know what changed. I don’t know what made my reflection different from last week. The reflection I saw now was that of a handsome individual. Something about this past week changed my reflection. I don’t know if it was the smile on my face that night or the happiness that I knew that I had the support of 10 people in my life. Shit. Maybe it was just the fact that belly dancer and hookah waitress treated me like a real guy…U know what… I don’t care to find out what it was that changed my reflection. I’m just so glad it did. I’m so glad that I’m happy and that right there makes such a big difference in, not just the way I see myself, but in the way I see the world :-)

-Ly